


Comfort

by amberandmetal



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Is a Good Guy, Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Past Sexual Assault, Smut, reader is a sexual assault survivor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 13:26:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13682598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberandmetal/pseuds/amberandmetal
Summary: Reader finally explains to her boyfriend why things haven’t worked for her sexually between them. They talk it out which leads to sweet soft fluffy heartwarming smut.





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually based on something amazing that happened between me and my boyfriend after we had this talk. This is not supposed to be pwp porn, it is supposed to be sweet and loving and fluffy and bring comfort to those who have suffered through the emotional trauma that is sexual assault.  
> Now note that this is just what worked for me and it may work for others and for some not so much. How to deal with regaining you confidence and lust after sexual assault is highly individual and something that needs to be communicated about beforehand.

“It’s not even that. After everything.. I’ve come to realize that my body doesn’t feel like my own. Bucky, I’ve realized I don’t know what it’s like to be intimate with someone on equal terms, to be treated as an equal in bed. I’ve learned that the guy is supposed to tell you what feels good for you, not that you should know yourself so..I think that’s why..things haven’t worked..between us.. because you treat me too well and I don’t know how to handle that” **  
**

He hadn’t moved once while you spoke, his ice baby blues watching you closely the entire time. When silence fell and he was sure you’d finished he closed the distance between you, reaching out for you but then hesitated  
“Is this okay?”

You nodded, grateful that he’d asked.

He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you close until your head was resting against his chest.  
“I would be lying if I told you I didn’t wanna force you to tell me every single name of those bastards so I could rip their throats out.. but I know that won’t do you any good..” you shivered in his arms, sniffling and sobbing lightly “..I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I’m so glad you told me. What can I do? Just..tell me how to help”

You curled your fist around the fabric of his shirt, pulling it to your nose to breathe in the scent of him, inhaling deeply as tears trickled down your face.  
“I just don’t know what it’s like to feel safe, especially when it comes to sex. I don’t know how to be calm or reassured or content, I’m always panicky and stressed as soon as sex is on the table and I just want to be able to..enjoy it, like..feeling safe and calm and _okay_ ”

Bucky’s grip on you tightened as he kissed the top of your head. You could feel his whole body tensing in anger but he kept it hidden, intent on being what you needed.  
“Would it help if I asked you before doing anything? If I from now on always go slow?”

“Y-yes..”, you mumbled into his chest.

You felt so small in his arms, exposing yourself like this. It was new; it was vulnerable; and it was terrifying.

You talked a long way into the night until, completely exhausted, you fell asleep in Bucky’s arms, the usually cold metal warm from your body heat.

It was a few days later when Bucky lifted his metal arm in invite as you crawled on all fours across the bed, curling up against his warm body with your head on his shoulder. He was reading some 50’s thriller novel; for some reason he’d been hooked on them ever since he got back.

You nosed playfully along the line of his neck, smelling the warmth of his skin and the mild bergamot scent of his schampo.  
“Mmm, hey doll”, he murmured, putting the book away and turning on his side to hold you close.

It quickly turned into something heated as his hand by mistake skimmed your breast and you whined low at the feeling. His eyes shot up to yours, recognizing the dazed look on you. He stroked up and down your waist, letting his fingers follow the natural curve of you body and up over your breasts under your thin t-shirt.  
“It doesn’t have to become anything more than this, you know. I am perfectly happy just holding you, touching you, feeling you” he leaned in close, lips brushing your ear “also you have the sexiest tits, sweetheart”

You shivered and arched into him, searching for more of his touch. Just the fact that he’d only started touching you when you’d gave a signal to do so and that he’d told you that it didn’t mean anything else had to happen, that he showed you that it was your decision, that your comfort was important— it made all the difference.

You sank into it, a small sense of calm finding its way into your heart. Your mind was still loud and chattering a cacophony of questions and fears— but it was quieter than normal; the sense of calm and safe Bucky lulled you into with his gentle warm hands and reassuring words taking you over.  
“Is this okay? Are you okay?”

You nodded with a gasp as he latched onto a nipple, wet lips suckling gently as cool metal fingers rolled and tugged at your other breast. You were breathing hard by now, surprised but happy by the throbbing and pulsing in your core and the slick that wet your folds.  
“Bucky..”, you breathed, squirming underneath his touch.

He’d been at your breasts for forever and you were close to a sensory overload. Every tug, every graze of teeth, every hard suck sent a jolt of pleasure straight to your core and you were dizzy with it.

You still felt too shy to say anything but you tried instead to show what you wanted. Everytime Bucky’s hand trailed lower on your stomach you invitingly canted your hips up, desperate for him to touch you were you were hot and wet and waiting.

He let go of your breast to look up at you as he let his human hand gently cup your mound  
“Is this okay? Can I touch you?”

You nodded jerkily, scrunching your eyes shut as a finger pushed lightly against the fabric covering your clit.

You started to wonder if you were kidding yourself but no, you couldn’t. It had never been like this, had it? It had never felt this  _much_ , right? Like every stroke between your legs sent a new thunderbolt of pleasure, exploding and cascading through your body.

He began tugging lightly on the hem of your pajama pants, eyes fixed to yours, questioning.  
“Yes”

His eyes sparked and something mischievous and completely  _Bucky_ glinted in them. Your panties were quickly reunited with your pants on the floor as Bucky had you laid out in front of him, naked from the waist down. You were grateful that he hadn’t asked to remove your t-shirt as it gave you a sense of control or safety to not be completely naked.

Bucky on the other hand was still in his sweats and a grey tank, looking as gorgeous as ever. The fact that he was still clothed, a signal of no pressure that you were grateful for.

He returned his hands between your legs, stroking you softly as you whimpered against him.  
“You okay like this, sweet thing?”

You hummed and nodded, the constant questions comforting you rather than feeling annoying.

He dipped a smooth metal finger inside you, gently, coating his fingers in your juices before stroking you up and down from the top of your slit to your entrance and back. You wanted more, you needed more, but you knew not to stress; that the slow pace was exactly what you really were in need of.

He got up on his knees then, close to your chest, leaning over your stomach and pushing your legs up and back with his upper arms, bracing himself on his elbows before diving in with an eager tongue between your folds.

Where you’d usually stress and wonder if he was bored or if you should make some more sounds to show him you were enjoying yourself or if you should just relent and fake it, you felt at ease, fully assured that Bucky enjoyed every minute; not only because of the noises he made, moaning as he tasted every inch of you, suckling and lapping as more of your juices flowed across his tongue, but because he told you so, again and again.  
“So sweet, so gorgeous for me, best taste in the world, doll. Just for me, so pretty, so sexy.. _oh, sweetheart_ ”

The steady pressure of his metal fingers pumping inside of you accompanied by the soft languid way his tongue laved over your pussy had your chest contracting, pushing out shaky breath after shaky breath. Usually this would be the part where Bucky sped up because that was one of the problems with you being unable to relax— your orgasm had to be forced out of you.

But now he took his time, seemingly in no rush to ever stop and you just melted at the thought, allowed your head to sink back between the pillows, letting them shield you from the world until all your senses could gather was the delicious push and pull of Bucky’s tongue and fingers.

When the tension started to build, like an electric knot just behind your clit that grew and grew, you hardly had any time to react. It took you by complete surprise.

“Bucky I- I think I..I’m gonna.. _ah_ -”

You  _screamed_. There was no other word for the sounds being ripped from your throat. You thrashed, writhed and wailed; sobs wracking your body as even tears began stinging at the corners of your eyes. It didn’t stop and it was the most intense thing you’d ever felt. Bucky had put his chest down, holding you still with the weight of his body as he rode you through your intense high.  
“ _Bucky..fuck…fuck..shit..oh my god..-fuck!_ ”

You finally had to push his head away so he’d let you come down. Your whole body still trembling in the aftershocks and your breath coming in short gasps, your skin buzzing with nerves set alight.

He came back up to you, leaning in and nuzzling your neck.  
“You’re amazing”,he murmured sweetly into your sweat soaked skin.

You glanced down, noticing the tent in his sweats  
“But you haven’t— “

“Don’t worry about it, doll. This was just for you”


End file.
